Home Sweet... Community? Hmmm...

I think it's about time one of us posts something, and it looks like I'm up. I've been thinking a lot lately about home and how complex that concept is. Home can be people or a specific house or a town or a country or any number of things, really. The thing that really gets me about home, though, is how it defines who you are and what you become.

I have a friend (some of you have now met her) who grew up in Botswana, Africa. If you ask her where she's from she'll say she lives in Abilene. If you ask her where home is she'd probably tell you she lives in Abilene. In both cases, though, I think she just wants to say home is a little village in Botswana. Marcella has told me that she'll probably never get to go back home, and even if she did it wouldn't be like home anymore. Things have changed, to be sure.
I have another friend who grew up in Slovenia. I've talked with her about how she's never really been sure where her hometown is. Even now that she lives in Abilene her parents are in another country serving as missionaries, and her siblings are living in various other places. She's not even at home with her family at this point. And little ol' me grew up in a town so small and lacking in diversity that a laugh generally accompanies the demographics. The farthest I've ever moved in my life, before college, has involved no more than hauling my belongings upstairs or across the hall. I live on a family farm, for goodness sakes. I live across the road from where my dad grew up and in the same county as my mother has always lived. I like it. A lot.

There are obviously different benefits and downfalls of every place, as far as growing up is concerned. I don't have any authority as far as moving goes. I can't, from personal experience, say if it's good or bad or nothing. I do know, though, that I'm really thankful for where and how I was raised. Being able to bring someone into my town that has never been there before was really kind of amazing. I got to see things through the filter of her experience. It was nice. The really interesting thing, though, is how I have a connection to my hometown and the people who also call it home. The same is true for Marcella and Michelle. None of us would be who we are today without our home, whatever shape that home has taken.

It doesn't just stop there. ha. I've moved now, even though my home hasn't changed, and it's good because I'm now being shaped by another environment. Here in Abilene I'm shaped by my group of friends, the people on my hall and the people in my church. I think it's a real blessing (does that word seem hokey to anyone else?) that community forms and shapes people like it does. It's a really good thing, I think. Community in the truest sense of the word is exactly what we're meant for, I think. Even though it takes some critiquing to be sure we're not being influenced by something wrong, I think it's nice how we're continually being shaped by our community.

I also like that blogging doesn't have to always connect... stream of consciousness. That's where it's at.

"Can't tell you more, cuz I told you already..."

I think I've always known what I've wanted to do. While I've gone astray from it at times, I always seem to come back to it being the best choice. And this week, with the way I am spending my spring break from Monmouth, confirms it even more that I'm doing the right thing. If you haven't caught on yet - it's teaching - this wonderful thing that I want to accomplish and spend my life doing. Today, and the rest of this week, I get the opportunity to step back into my elementary school with the short desks, and tiny chairs, and alphabet and number covered walls - but this time not as a student there, but as an observer, a prospective teacher, eagerly taking in everything . It's all quite strange. I see the school in an entirely different light. The students called me Miss Halpin. I ate lunch in the teacher's lounge - with MY elementary teachers - I was a little weirded out by that, but at the same time very comfortable because they knew me.
So, I'm home, as if you didn't already know. And lately I've been talking with some PHS seniors and juniors about what they want to do with the rest of their lives. Some of them have many different thoughts, while others don't have a clue at all. This got me thinking about what I wanted to do a few years ago, and I found it amazing as to how my thoughts and focus has changed. I think that I've almost completely forgotten about my prespective and opinions from high school, which is somewhat strange, but not unimaginable - I knew it would happen, just not this quickly. I feel as if I'm too eager to grow up - all the things that growing up entail. I think I'm old while I'm young. I was born in the wrong decade or something. Most of you know my views on romance and falling in love (however I don't like the fact that it's called falling - why can't it be skipping into love, or jumping, or hopping) anyway - I'm quite old fashioned, as if you hadn't guessed. Old fashioned in every sense of the word, other than perhaps style and fashion, although I wouldn't entirely mind it all ( the Donna Reed outfits, and pearls, and bob haircuts). I speak old fashionedly, addressing people as dear, darling, sir, ma'am, lady. I think old fashionedly, at least in the chivilaric, romantic sense. My love for Pride and Prejudice is a prime example. So, what I'm trying to get at, I think is marriage - I know, where in the world did that doosey come from? Sorry, quite the tangent, just bear with me. But I'm a young lady, a young adult - it is practically inevitable for me to not think of it. However, I feel utterly foolish doing this, considering I've really never dated anyone. And frankly I don't know how to date. I know that through my own opinions, as well as the influence of others, that I would not date someone that I could not see myself marrying - but it appears that people don't know how to date anymore. Where do you get to the point where you even consider dating someone? I guess, perhaps, I'm just too frightened to even attempt to begin something - to open up and get past the point of knowing someone as more than "just a friend." I want, very much, to someday get married. But I'm not sure if I'll even get anywhere close to that. I know that I must be patient and put it all in God's hands, but it's something I struggle with all the time. I was discussing with a good friend about my life and gentlemen. She said that I ran from them - and I simply responded that there hasn't been one that really chased after me. I refuse to give up on my youthful, naive imagination and old fashioned romantic soul - for when I do that, I give up on the part of myself that make me, me. There's no giving up allowed in this gal.
So -- I'm quite astounded that I've posted so much of my heart I guess on here - I should have done it all on my blog. More people will read it, but I don't really have anything to lose anymore - only gains.

Actually there was a question or something I intended on asking, however I have gone completely off the deep end. I guess I was wondering what everyone thought about growing up. I always say that I won't grow up - I'll grow old. I just hope there's someone there to grow old with me.

LPG- don't forget about our wonderful dreams of one day owning the Fox Theatre!!

xoxoxo